Meekness in a Negative World
It's not a strategy. It's a signpost.
This is one of my teachings from Redeemer Presbyterian Church on March 9th, 2025 on Matthew 5:5. You can listen, or read the transcript below.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
This is the word of the Lord.
Nicholas: What are we talking about when we talk about meekness? What are we talking about? Meekness is probably not something you aspire to.
Meekness is probably not something you're going to put on your resume. It's not on your bucket list, I would imagine, to become meek someday. Meekness, I don't think, is very attractive quality to us. The first time I ever encountered the word meekness in a personal way was at a worldview camp. I was with a bunch of other high school boys, and at the end of the week, what we were supposed to do is we were supposed to name a quality of Jesus we saw in the boys around us. And when it came to my turn, there's a long silence. And then one of the boys said, Nicholas, the quality of Jesus I see in you is “meekness”… the meekness of Jesus. And as often happens in these Bible studies, another high schooler said, “That's what I was going to say.”
“Yeah, meekness.”
And one by one, they went around and they said, “Yeah, the meekness of Jesus. That's it. That's it right there.”
And how do you think I felt about that?
I felt like taking each and every one of them out into a back alley and showing them exactly how meek I was. That's what I felt like doing. Because when I think of meek, I think of shy, timid, bland, vanilla, ready to roll over at the slightest provocation, and I'm pretty sure that's what those boys meant. Meek doesn't really resonate with us. It's an old word, and that's how we've come to think of it. Contrast that with an experience I had just a few weeks ago. So a few weeks ago, my wife Brenna’s grandma, we call her Peep, she passed away. And Peep is an extremely sweet person. She would run up to a firefighter on the street and give them a hug just to do it. Very, very sweet. However, I knew that she was not a Republican like some of the other people in her family. And we have all of these letters laying around from Peep because she would write these long letters to Brenna in college. so for the last few weeks, they've been scattered around her house, these letters from Peep. And I noticed out of the corner of my eye, one of these letters and the words were so shocking that I almost didn't stop and then I had to. And these were the words:
The existence of slavery in this country makes your republicanism a sham, your humanity a base pretense, and your Christianity a lie.
And I thought, wow, Peep, I did not know you had that in you. That is quite shocking to me. And then I realized I was actually looking at my son's recitation for the week, and these were not the words of Peep, but the words of Frederick Douglass. And it all sort of made sense in that moment.
These are the words of Frederick Douglass, “What to a slave is the Fourth of July?” But what's interesting about Frederick Douglass is that in the intro to his autobiography, the abolitionist William Lloyd Garrison describes Frederick Douglass this way:
“In labors he has been most abundant, and his success in combating prejudice, in gaining proselytes, and agitating the public mind has far surpassed the most sanguine expectations that were raised at the commencement of his brilliant career. He has borne himself with meekness and gentleness.”
Now when you think of Frederick Douglass, do you think of somebody who is timid, shy, ready to roll over? I don't. I think of one of the most colorful, profound voices speaking out against injustice in our country's history. And yet, somehow, centuries ago, we could describe this man as being meek. So I think something has been lost since the King James Version of the Bible penned this Greek word praus as meekness. Something has been lost. We think of it as morally passive, maybe even pathetic, but that is not what is meant when William Lloyd Garrison is describing Frederick Douglass. Clearly, he was a meek person, but he was also bold.
The philosopher Aristotle said of the same word that Jesus uses, he says, be praus, or to be meek, or to be gentle, as it is most often translated in the New Testament, is really a means between two extremes. It is virtuous to be meek, he says, because on the one extreme, you could be somebody who is very aggressive and coercive and loud and mocking. You have a lot of convictions, but you don't have any self-control. That's not meekness. That's not virtuous. On the other hand, you could be somebody who is morally passive. And sure, you have a lot of external control, but you have no convictions. You have no passion that is driving you forward. And what he says is that to be gentle, to be praus is to be someone who is filled with both conviction and self-control. You are able to speak the truth gently. You sort of have a channeled passion, a gentle strength, a focused power. That's what it means to be meek, to be gentle. In fact, it was common to use this word in the Greco-Roman culture for the taming of a horse. The taming of a horse, and we actually use that same word, meek, when we talk about the taming of a horse. You can “meek” a horse, or you can “gentle” a horse. Here's the way a poem by Mary Carr puts it. She says,
To understand the meek,
picture a great stallion at full gallop in a meadow,
who at his master's voice seizes up to a stunned but instant halt.
So with the strain of holding that great power in check,
the muscles along the arched neck keep eddying,
and only the velvet ears prick forward
awaiting the next order.
To be meeked is to have that power, but it is focused into gentle action. In his book, The Art of Disagreeing, Gavin Ortland talks about how each of us has a sort of protective response to threat. Some of us are rhinos, he says. We are people who, when we see a threat, we just move toward it, we charge. So be honest, where are my fellow rhinos in the room? Who's a rhino? Okay, more rhinos in second service, unsurprising. The other sort of type of response to a threat is the porcupine. And you sort of huddle up and you get prickly. Who are the porcupines in here? Okay.
Yep, we're kind of a porcupine church, I've noticed. But here's what I'll say. To cower away from threat or to charge at threat, neither of these is being meek. To be meek is to engage in gentle, proactive action. That's what it means to be meek.
The problem is, meekness, if you've not heard, has fallen on hard times lately. Especially in the evangelical world. What is said is that meekness was for then. Gentleness, respect, winsomeness toward our opponents, our enemies, that was for then. What is needed now is strength, coercion, power. That's what the moment needs. Here's one very popular Christian political pundit:
“This is demonic. Our enemies are demonic. There's no turning the other cheek. There's no being winsome.”
It's not the time for gentleness toward our enemies. It's not the time for kindness. It's the time for the assertion of ourselves. Here's another voice in a reputable, very reputable Christian magazine, borrowing some categories from somebody else about how we used to live in a neutral world that sort of was okay with Christianity, but now we live in a negative world that's hostile toward Christianity. This voice writes,
“Winsomeness or gentleness was perfectly suited for the neutral world. But the negative world, it's a different place. Tough choices are increasingly before us. Offense is unavoidable. Sides need to be taken on very important issues. And recent events have proven that being winsome in this moment will not guarantee a favorable hearing.”
That was then, gentleness was then. Now it's time for assertion. It's time for power. It's time for control. One journalist in Christianity Today reports that they are increasingly hearing of pastors who when they simply quote Jesus about the command to love your enemies and to pray for them and to turn the other cheek will get pushback from their congregants saying, “That doesn't work anymore. We're not doing that anymore.”
I just want to give two responses to this growing movement.
Number one, this movement seems bleakly unaware of what scripture itself says about our attitude and our actions toward our enemies.
Here is the apostle Paul in Titus chapter 3 verse 2, you can find each of these scriptures in your bulletin in the additional text section on page 10. Paul writes, “Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone.”
Do we suppose that Paul was living in a neutral world? Paul was beheaded. He's living in a far more hostile culture than we are, and yet he says, be gentle with everyone. Be gentle.
Peter, same culture, 1 Peter 3.15. “In your hearts, revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have, but do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.”
In other words, Peter is saying, if people are acting maliciously toward you, if people are slandering you because of your faith, all the more reason to be gentle. Put them to shame with your gentleness. Show forth the character of Jesus in a culture that cannot comprehend it. Peter was crucified upside down. Is that a failed strategy? Or is that simply what faithfulness to Jesus looks like?
James, also beheaded by King Agrippa, James 3:17: “The wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.”
Scripture is very clear. We are gentle, not because it's a great strategy. We are gentle because it reflects the character of our Savior and our Heavenly Father, who is gentle and kind toward his enemies.
Second, not only that, but this growing movement seems to assume that we are playing the same game as everybody else. And in Matthew chapter five, verse five, Jesus is saying, that is exactly the opposite of what I'm calling you to. He says, the meek, “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.”
This is the game that we're playing. The long game. The resurrection game. Jesus does not say that we should be gentle because it will win us respect among the elites. He doesn't say we should be gentle because it will get you a promotion at work. He doesn't say you should be gentle because that's a good political strategy. If we were being gentle for those reasons, yes, we were fools. But that is not why Jesus says that we are to be gentle.
We are to be gentle because you will inherit the earth. To settle for anything less, as C.S. Lewis would say, shows that our desires are not too strong, but far too weak. Why settle for winning the cheap games around us when Jesus has promised us an inheritance in the resurrection of a new heavens and a new earth? Because there will be a day, Jesus is saying, when you will look around this earth, and you will not find the greedy. You will not find the powerful who dominated the weak. You will not find the coercive. You will not find the abusive. You will not find the mockers. You will not find the ubermensch. You will find the gentle. This world will be filled with the gentle. That is the promise of Jesus. So here's what I want you to do.
I know daylight savings makes this tough, I want you to look at your neighbor and I want you to tell them that they will inherit the earth. I want you to say “You will inherit the earth.” Go ahead, say it to your neighbor.
Okay, the reason I had you do that was to prove that you don't really believe it.
Right? So, again with conviction, say it to your neighbor like you mean it: “You will inherit the earth.”
Do you believe this?
I asked, do you believe this?
Yes. If you believe this, you can breathe. You are free to be gentle. You are free to give up coercion. You are free to give up power and control, because it is a certain thing that you, as a follower of Jesus, will inherit the earth. You will.
You will.
One of our favorite movies that we've seen as a family, it's not a family movie, don't watch it with your family, but we have watched it with our family. It is the movie Knives Out. And in one of the great scenes in that movie, there's a scene where everybody's talking about inheriting this great fortune from their father. And in that scene, the older brother, who's kind of a jerk, he walks into the room. And everybody is arguing about where this fortune is going to go, but they all know that it's not going to go to Ransom. Because Ransom, I mean, nobody likes him. His father didn't like him, they don't like him. And so they start castigating him and calling him names and saying, you're finally going to get what you deserve. And as they're talking to him, Ransom is sitting in a chair and he's eating butter cookies and he's dipping them in milk. And he's kind of laughing at the whole thing.
He's just laughing. He's not panicked. Their voices are raised. He's fine. Fun fact that scene in the film took about 15 hours total. So Chris Evans could not eat any more butter cookies by the final take on that because he had to do it for every single scene. But I digress. So they're yelling at him and castigating him. And he's calm. And the reason why he's calm is because he knows something none of them know:
They're not going to inherit anything.
The arguments are pointless. The pointing of fingers is pointless. They will not inherit a thing. It doesn't matter. He doesn't need to play that game, because he knows how the story is going to end. And in a very similar way, the Psalm that Jesus is quoting in Matthew 5:5, because he is quoting a Psalm, Psalm chapter 37, is saying the same thing to those of us who follow Jesus: When the wicked win, don't panic. Stay calm, carry on, and be gentle. Here's what the psalmist writes.
Refrain from anger, turn from wrath.
Do not fret. It leads only to evil.
For those who are evil will be destroyed, but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the earth.
A little while and the wicked will be no more.
Though you look for them, they will not be found.
But the meek will inherit the earth and enjoy peace and prosperity.
That is the unblushing promise of Jesus. You may not win the short game. That's fine. You're not playing that game. You're playing the long game. You're playing the resurrection game. And Jesus says, if you are somebody who reflects my character of gentleness, this earth is for you.
That's the game that we're playing.
Now, you may hear all of that and think, that sounds good, that sounds right. But gentleness is not in my DNA, really. I'm either someone who tends to retreat or I tend to charge. But to be gentle and truthful, that doesn't map onto my vocabulary. And that's where I want to return to a point Charles made a few weeks ago, which is that when Jesus is speaking these beatitudes, these first three beatitudes in particular are really more about our posture toward God than they are about our posture toward our neighbor. And so the question is, what does it mean for you to be meek toward God? You will never be meek and gentle toward your neighbor if you are not meeked by the hand of God.
If you think that you are in control of your life or should be in control of your life, there is no possible way that you will be a gentle person to those around you. It requires you to have a meeked attitude toward God, to take your desires, to take your circumstances, even to take your sins into the hands of God and say, “God, I entrust you with all of these things.” And from that posture, we become people who are meek toward others.
So rather than me just saying that, what I would like to do is invite my friends Jeff and Tim up to talk a little bit about how they themselves move from this posture of strength and control over life toward a place where they have been gentled by Jesus in very profound ways.
Jeff: I like control. I do not like pain. And by time I got out of high school, I was already on my way to some pretty bad habits when it comes to substance abuse. And then by the time I got out of college, I was entrenched in dependency and substance abuse.
I was really good at making excuses about why that happened. So I want to be very conscious here that I'm not making excuses when I tell you that I like to be in control. I wanted to do good things God gave me, but I did not want to give all of my will to His way. So for about 12 more years, God meeked me and gentled me and pursued me and convicted me and gave me many different avenues of His redemptive hand in my life…Tim was involved in that and that really significant pivotal spot. And so over time I inherited a new way of living that was gentle and meek. Any of you that know me decently well know that this is not finished project. I am still under the name of God.
He took my blackened branches and brought to them the green of a new life. There is nothing that is impossible for him.
Tim: In 2001, I was a young pastor on the north side of Indy. I was also a young husband and a young father. And I had a growing disappointment with God. It was growing deeper and deeper and deeper.
And so I reached out to some old friends, acquaintances of mine, alcohol and nicotine, but this time they didn't just become close friends, they really became enemies. And I descended into addiction. I became a resentment.
One of the things we learned is that resentment leads to addictive behavior, but eventually, as Seah's List says, it just becomes a grumble. And so I descended into becoming a resentment. When Sally discovered my situation, which I had hidden from her, that day we reached out to an elder and his wife. He served with me at my church. When they came to our church they said, “Our story is we came to Christ because my wife had an affair and it broke her heart and it broke my pride. I've been an atheist and literally her failing and their failing marriage led them into a saving knowledge of Christ. So we drew it off people who experienced grace and were religiously honest.”
And so in my recovery my leaders came around me and they said, we're not going to fire you, but walk with you, but your greatest addiction is not nicotine and alcohol. And I said, “What else is there in my life?”
And they said, your greatest addiction is to reputation…We want to be better known for the power of the gospel in our life of recovery than of our families. So as Paul said, all the more glad we are to be so that the power of Christ might rest upon me. Our experience is in recovery, you do experience the gentleness and needlessness of Christ in a whole new way. He is gentle. His burden is light…That's the joy in my life to get to point people to Christ and to offer that kind of community where we really can be free and rigorously honest as we follow Christ. Thanks, everyone.
Nicholas: I so appreciate that. Who of us is naturally meeked by God? None of us. None of us are. But why should we be? I want to close by thinking about that question. Why should you yield to God's will in your life? Why not escape through addiction or whatever else your vice may be?
One of the answers to the question of how can you and I become meek is, I think we get it by osmosis. I think it comes from spending time with the person of Jesus. Because Jesus, remarkably, in only one place of the gospels, describes to us what his personality is like. There's only one place where Jesus looks at the crowds and says, “I want you to understand what it would be like to be in a room with me. I want you to know how it would feel to experience me.” And here's what he says: “I am gentle and humble in heart, and if you spend time with me, you would find rest for your soul. That's how it would feel to spend time with me.”
So I'm gonna close by thinking very purposefully about the meekness and gentleness of Jesus toward you. These are statements meant for you. I'm gonna...I'm going to read you nine statements. These are my statements, but the commentary on them all comes from the book Gentle and Lowly by Dane Ortland, which is worth reading and rereading. But I want you to think about what this means for your own relationship to Jesus. How do you see Jesus' gentleness toward you?
Number one, Jesus' gentleness is seen in that he is approachable to you. The point in saying that Jesus is lowly is that he is accessible. For all his resplendent glory, no one in human history has ever been more approachable than Jesus Christ. He's gentle with you.
Jesus' gentleness is seen in how he moves toward your suffering. The cumulative testimony of the four gospels is that when Jesus Christ sees the fallenness of the world all about him, his deepest impulse, his most natural instinct is to move toward that sin and suffering, not away from it. Jesus is gentle with you.
Jesus' gentleness is seen by the way he is comforted by your comfort. Jesus gets more joy and comfort than we do when we come to him for help and mercy. Jesus Christ is comforted when you draw from the riches of his atoning work because his own body is getting healed.
Jesus' gentleness is seen by the fact that he wants to be close to you. If you are in Christ, you have a friend who in your sorrow will never lob down a pep talk from heaven. He cannot bear to hold himself at a distance from you. Nothing can hold him back. His heart is too bound up in yours.
Five. Jesus' gentleness is seen in his patience with you. The idea in Hebrews 5 is that Jesus does not throw his hands up in the air when he engages sinners. He is calm, tender, soothing, restrained. He deals with us gently.
Jesus' gentleness is seen in His compassion for you in your sin. The Puritan Thomas Goodwin put it this way, “There is comfort concerning our own infirmities and that our very sins move Him to pity more than to anger.” Do you know what Jesus does with those who squander His mercy? He pours out more mercy. God is rich in mercy, that's the whole point.
Seven, Jesus' gentleness is seen in the way he enjoys time with you as a sinner. What does it mean that Christ is a friend to sinners? At the very least, it means he enjoys spending time with them. It also means that they feel welcome and comfortable around him. Notice the passing line that starts off a series of parables in Luke: “Now the tax collectors and sinners were all drawing near to hear him”…because Jesus is warm and he's ready to receive you. He enjoys time with you.
Eight, Jesus' gentleness is seen in the way that he is more gentle toward you than you are. Remember, the Puritan John Flavel says, that “this God in whose hand are all creatures is your father and is much more tender of you than you are or even can be of yourself.” Your gentlest treatment of yourself is less gentle than the way your heavenly father handles you. His tenderness toward you outstrips what you are even capable of toward yourself.
Nine, and lastly, Jesus' gentleness is seen in the way his impulse toward you is mercy, not wrath. We tend to think divine anger is pent up, spring-loaded. Divine mercy is slow to build. It's just the opposite. Divine mercy is ready to burst forth at the slightest prick.
Ortlund concludes by saying, “Repent of your small thoughts of God's heart.Repent and let him love you.”
That is the person of Jesus. He is gentle toward you. He is kind toward you. And his life, death, and resurrection are a stake in the ground saying, I will always be gentle and humble and heart toward you.
Jesus, we thank you that you are unlike us. When we run away from threat or we charge at it, we try to have control over our life, but you were perfectly submitted to your heavenly father, and in so doing, you were perfectly gentle and kind to each of us. Help us to take that in this week, to take it into our own hearts and souls, and then to reflect this in our relationship to our families, our neighbors, and even those who hate or despise us. In Jesus' name, amen.