Non-Anxious Evangelism

If I could only teach one thing to churchy people about evangelism, here’s what it would be: learn to be a non-anxious presence with non-Christians. 

I’ve found over the years with non-Christian students on campus, as well as with some experience with adults, this is a surprisingly disarming and engaging skill. Basically, non-Christians anticipate Christian anxiety. This generally comes out in two ways:

1. We Christians are anxious about “the conversation”, so we never bring up our faith or reveal our convictions. 

2. We Christians are anxious about “the conversation”, so we become insecure and overly aggressive. We come across as angry and embattled. 

What non-Christians generally don’t expect is basic honesty and level-headed engagement with them. For instance, I’ve recently been meeting with a friend who knows I’m a pastor, but who has let me know in no uncertain terms that he is opposed to my faith. We went to breakfast a few weeks ago, and at some point the conversation turned so much that by the end, he said: “I’d actually be really interested in why you hold the version of Christianity you hold. Could we do this again?”

As I thought about that conversation, and relayed it to my wife, Brenna, I decided the turning point of the conversation was this: my friend - who is a historian by training - casually mentioned that he thought Augustine was responsible for the church’s "repressive sexual ethic". 

I said, “Well, I wouldn’t quite frame it that way, but I understand what you’re saying.” Then we moved on to other topics. I didn’t really argue with him, but I didn’t hold back my convictions, either. The unspoken message was: “There’s room for a friendship where we differ on things.” 

That is not something people are seeing anywhere else. Once my friend saw his hostility to faith didn’t make me anxious - it neither scared me away nor inflamed me - he was able to relax into a posture of curiosity (which I tried to genuine demonstrate toward him that day). 

I brought this up to a friend who I think is a gifted evangelist last week, and he agreed, but put a little more meat on it. “Of course that’s true,” he said. “But that’s because it’s proof of the Holy Spirit. We live in a polarized culture. The only way you could be a non-anxious presence around someone hostile to you is by being transformed by Jesus.”

Which is a much better, and more theological, way to make the same point. 

How do we do this? 

Prayer and practice. Lots of people were praying with me over that conversation, and that let me relax into it, trusting God's sovereign care for my neighbor. So pray. 

But also: just do it. Was I actually anxious during that conversation? Oh yes. Very anxious. Before it, and during it. But I also understood what my neighbor needed, and how to play that role for him. That took lots of practice. So just do it. Again and again. Some form of exposure therapy is necessary. 

Eventually, nothing will surprise you. 

A Prayer

You are the glory of their strength; by your favor our horn is exalted. For our shield belongs to the LORD, our king to the Holy One of Israel. 

                                                                -Psalm 89:17

Father, our shield - my strength. My favor. I throw myself upon your lap. I give you my tears. Hold open your hands, o Lord, and I will fill them. I will say to the nations, “Put your hope in God.” My tears fill your bottles. You examine them, Lord, from top to bottom. You hold them in your room, and you give the meaning of them, Lord. You give the sense. My own heart is dried up, a wheat field without a harvest. But you pluck my grain. You behold me, and see me, as the apple of your eyes. You apply to me and favor me for the merit of Christ. O Jesus - by the glory of your strength, my horn is exalted. Shield me, God. Protect me. Cover me with your pinions. Embrace me all around, behind and before me. Allow me to rest wearily in your bosom. Cover my heart and protect me, Lord Jesus. For you alone, O God, can bring me life. 

Something I Found

Mere Fidelity has been on a role lately, and I loved especially this episode on Martin Luther and the Rule of Faith. I've been thinking a lot about what it means to be a Protestant who isn't a "biblicist", but is beholden to the historic church tradition. Luther was very much this second kind of protestant, who felt that everyone needed certain lenses - handed to us by the church - that enabled us to understand scripture correctly. But the lenses laid out in this podcast are pretty interesting and surprising, at least to me.