Reaching the Dechurched Requires an Attitude Shift
Reaching the Dechurched Begins with the Church.
Over 40 million Americans have walked away from church over the past decade. 40 Million. That’s more people than those who came to faith in the First Great Awakening, Second Great Awakening and Billy Graham crusades combined1. That means, odds are, you know someone who’s walked away from the church, and maybe even said they’re done with faith altogether.
Yet, at this same hour, there seems to be a striking new interest in faith and spirituality. College ministries around the country have reported a renewed hunger in faith and spiritual issues. We’ve witnessed the amazing conversion of several prominent voices in our culture, celebrities and thinkers alike. Personally, over the last decade, I have seen many people walk away from the faith, and I’ve prayed over them with tears. But at the same time, strangely, I’ve seen far more people come to faith as well, finding renewal and hope, many for the first time in their lives.
What’s going on?
In her foreword for my forthcoming book, “The Light in Our Eyes”,
compares this moment to that of a few centuries ago. Quoting Historical Theologian Alister McGrath, she writes,‘The late Middle Ages saw the church going through a period of real doctrinal confusion. People were not sure what they believed. They weren’t sure why they believed it, either’…It was truly a time of crisis for the church. Yet that crisis, mercifully, led to much needed change through both the Reformation and the Counter-Reformation that followed…What American evangelicalism is going through now can, just as it has in the past, lead to renewal, refinement, and even reformation. I believe this deeply—not just despite but even because of the disillusionment within and toward the church we see today.
So good, KSP! And I think that’s exactly right. I believe we are living in a similar period - a great rearranging is happening in the American church. And I think, largely, that is a good thing. I’m not saying it’s easy. What I am saying is this: it’s important we see the hand of God in this. As one speaker at the most recent Lausanne Conference - a gathering of evangelicals all around the globe - said of her own continent: “Europe is not post-Christian. It is pre-revival2.”
I love that perspective. Love it!
Many already are beginning to talk about America as a post-Christian world, or a “negative” world that is hostile to faith. That is surely true in some respects. But here is what I can tell you from my own perspective, as someone who walked away from the church for several years and went through a “deconstruction” process myself: my negative attitude toward the American church was partially about a hostility to Jesus, and to God’s word, yes. But it was also, in large part, a rejection of a kind of cultural Christianity that I still reject today. I needed to reject that version of faith in order to discover the love, beauty and freedom of Jesus for myself.
A few weeks ago, a good friend of mine asked, “How should I think about the relationship between deconstruction and sanctification?” (Sanctification is just a fancy word for becoming like Jesus). I had to think about that question for a while. Finally, I wrote him back, and I said, “Well, I think deconstruction can be a little bit like being a teenager. Every teenager goes through a healthy, normal stage of development when they psychologically want to ‘differentiate’ from their parents. I think a lot of what we call ‘deconstruction’ is folks trying to get through this healthy stage of spiritual growth - differentiating themselves from the faith they’ve been handed, in order, ideally, to return to it in a healthier way.”
And what this means is this: I don’t think the 40 million people who’ve left the church are hopeless cases. I think this can make sense of why we are seeing so much dechurching and revival happening simultaneously: we’re witnessing millions of people enter into an awkward stage of spirituality, where they are unsure about the American faith package they’ve been handed, and they’ve not yet decided where they’re going to land. They’re differentiating. Which means they are crossing a bridge: they can grow through this process, or they can fall off.
So I actually don’t believe we are witnessing 40 million people suddenly becoming hostile to Christianity. I truly don’t. In fact, 51% of dechurched people say they would be open to coming back to church with a personal invitation and the right kind of community3. I think what we are witnessing, right now, are 40 million people whose faith is an extremely fragile place - much like a teenager. And, as you know, the way a parent deals with a teenager’s differentiation in that awkward stage makes all the difference. If a parent reacts with hostility, or an attempt to control, that differentiation stage is going to go poorly. Perhaps, even, the relationship will die.
Now, sadly, I fear this negative, hostile reaction has largely been the attitude toward the dechurched that I’ve read and heard from the evangelical world: lots of anxiety. Lots of name calling. Very few of us are doing the work we’re called to in Galatians 6: “If anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:1–2, ESV). Or, more simply, which of us are seeking to obey this admonition from Jude: “Be merciful to those who doubt” (Jude 22)?
Mercy. Gentleness. Restoration.
These are not words I would associate with the evangelical response to the Great Dechurching. So I want to bring these words back into the conversation. That’s why I wrote “The Light in Our Eyes”. I believe this conversation needs more mercy. More gentleness. More understanding of where the dechurched are really at. Because it’s not all one big lump experience.
But how do we change our attitude toward the dechurched? There are a few things I’m going to say about this over the next several weeks. But let me start here: We don’t have a magic switch we can press to reset our attitudes. Except that, we sort of do. And that’s prayer.
If we want to reach the dechurched, we need to begin to pray for them by name. Do you regularly pray for your dechurched friends and neighbors? Because ultimately, the Great Dechurching and rearranging can, certainly, become a Reformation moment, much like the moment Alister McGrath describes. But that, ultimately, is a work of God. So, as obvious as it seems, the first step to reaching your dechurched neighbor or family member is to write down their name. Begin to pray for them, by name, every day.
I believe in Jesus’ power to use your prayers for revival and renewal in your friends. But here’s what else I believe about prayer: I also believe in Jesus’ power to use our prayers to clear away the cobwebs of our own cynicism about our world and our neighbors. Prayer is a posture of hope. And that is the stake I’d like to put in the ground, right now. Let’s have this conversation filled with prayer. Let’s commit to a tone of hope, expecting that Jesus is on his throne and He wants to revive our loved ones. Because if we can, I think the great dechurching isn’t just the end of something.
It’s the beginning of something new.
Davis, Jim; Graham, Michael; Burge, Ryan P.. The Great Dechurching: Who’s Leaving, Why Are They Going, and What Will It Take to Bring Them Back? (p. 5). (Function). Kindle Edition.
Trevin Wax, “Reconstructing Faith” podcast, “Seven Big Challenges Facing the Church Worldwide” https://www.namb.net/podcasts/reconstructing-faith/seven-big-challenges-facing-the-church-worldwide/
Davis, Jim; Graham, Michael; Burge, Ryan P.. The Great Dechurching: Who’s Leaving, Why Are They Going, and What Will It Take to Bring Them Back? (p. 28). (Function). Kindle Edition.